Right about now would be a good time where my grandma’s guidance would be so helpful. I just ugh, honestly I feel so lost right now and I can’t make up my decision for anything… and here would be a good time where she would say something so incredibly wise and helpful. I mean I don’t get that stuff anymore. What I miss most about nonna was how she just talked to me to let my feelings out like she would absorb all that I said and just take heed to my feelings. Life’s just hard without a little guidance from the elders.
One thing that’s killing me is the regret I’ve built up by not going to Pomona. I know it was my second choice and all and that the deadline for choosing your for sure college of choice was today, but I just can’t accept the fact that I’m not going there. I told myself that I wanted to go to new places and meet new people, and I’m just so used to Fullerton and I really proved to myself that I’m fine, if not better, being by myself…which would have been perfect for the Crystal that would have attended Cal Poly Pomona. It just sucks like life for me sucks right now, I can’t even deal.
Feels good to be m.i.a for a while, I definitely got so much things done and I feel so accomplished by it.
Been getting a lot of college things out of the way, I’m really excited for it, and to be honest that’s all I really want to focus on right now. I haven’t been giving a lot of my friends attention by hanging out with them or anything, not that I don’t want to hang out with them or not, but in a way it’s giving me an easier transition when I don’t see them as much any more (not that I don’t want to see them as much anymore) The whole going to college thing got so real when a few of the senior’s names were put up in front of the office as what they’ll be graduating as (honors, distinguished scholars, vds and sds), names including my friends and I. Seriously as graduation is approaching the thought is always giving me goosebumps!
I’ve recently been doing a lot of babysitting because my dad invested in a house for my oldest sister to live in. I know I’ve said the whole “never do business with friends or relative” deal so many times, but hopefully, and by hopefully I mean this better work, god willing, it’ll turn out fine. We’ve done a lot lately by renovating it, turning on all the water and heating things, and this week we’re going to get real used to going to Ikea.
My best friend, Charlene, is getting her debut business started. We just began practice yesterday and it was pretty cool. Let me tell you it was incredibly awkward the whole day for me, and I usually I am never shy, because I’m the only one that doesn’t go to my friend’s school, so of course everyone’s just talking to each other and like I’ll try to start a conversation but it’s a little annoying when you only get one word responses. But hopefully (HOPEFULLY!) things will start to warm up between her friends and I.
My birthday is slowly approaching and I’m getting a little excited for it but I’m trying to remain as calm as possible. My sister and I are combing our birthdays together for a pretty good age party (21 and 18- that’s something to celebrate). We’re getting there on the whole getting everything together.
I could have sworn that while thinking this whole post out, that I had more to say…
Despite the fact that I read this in my Lit class during a practice timed test, I couldn’t have been more interested in this article. I mean it just makes you think and puts a little aspect of your life into perspective, and I couldn’t have related to it more. My Lit class has been seriously so boring, and I really don’t like the things that we read in class compared to last year’s readings, but this one, good job, teach, good job.
Another Monday, another day closer till the day I graduate, the day I last walk into those prison-like gates with some fat S.I.A standing there checking if we have our ID’s on and to welcome us bitterly with a “good morning”. Another Monday closer till the day I last hang out with my group of friends, that along the months I’ve grown so much closer to, some more than others, but man have they made my 4 years of bullshit bearable. I’m so close. A few more tests left, a handful of lectures to deal with, some senior events that I have to put up, I can’t forget prom or grad-night. After getting accepted to my college that I’ve been yearning for, all I have left to look forward to is graduation. Shit, time is going so fast it’s almost hard to take it all in. I don’t even think it’ll hit me until I actually get my name called and I walk down that red carpeted aisle back into my seat….
to put on my Nike Free Runs and run a marathon. Run the Great Wall of China, the Mozambique beach-line, the fucking trail of the Grand Canyon. As short as this feeling will come, I feel incredible, like I can do anything.
If only I had this amount of motivation in all aspects of my life, the things I could do! I know, I know I shouldn’t blame “if only” when in reality it’s just up to me, but seriously…IMAGINE!?
Finding zero motivation to start studying for my exam tomorrow. I mean really now, a test the day that we get back from a week of no school, really now?
My spring break was such a breathe of fresh air amongst all the stress of school, the stress of getting ready for college, finding a job, personal things, and whatever else that life throws at me. Got a lot of rest and relaxation. Got a lot of personal things done and I feel like I’ve caught myself up on the self meditation that I’ve been missing out on. To be honest I felt like my spring break was completely the opposite of what a normal high school senior spring break looks like —that is with the partying and the teen angst and whatever — it was more just ahh, I feel so relaxed. I have so much energy now and I feel so centered. Got rid of a lot of negative energy that’s been clinging on to me with the adventures I’ve pulled. Did I mention that I hiked the Hollywood Hills? It was just…so calming. Probably one of the best Spring Breaks I’ve had to be quiet honest.
Had a yoga class at 9 am and I literally woke up at 8 o clock and had no time to get myself fully awake, so to say the least, I woke up and did a crazy yoga routine. But how could I complain, with the beautiful setting of the Bella Terra shopping outlets, second floor with a great view and beautiful weather, I mean what a great way to start the day. I’ve taken yoga before and seriously nothing like what I did today. I went with my friend and her cousin to the corepower studios and we had scheduled for a C2 class, which is freakin hot yoga. The moment I entered the studio I just mentally passed out. If there is one weird thing about me it’s that my normal body temperature is at 99 degrees (Okay you think it’s just 1 degree up from the norm, but I’m already sweating at 75-80 degrees, that’s how much it sucks). The beginning of the class— okay first off everyone there was just so fit. I mean there was an elderly behind me and she was putting in work, I’m not even going to lie — I thought I had this in the bag, it wasn’t so bad. Once I reached the 30 minute mark I was so beat, I was sweating a freakin ocean, which is a good thing, because if you weren’t sweating clearly you’re doing something wrong, and it was a lot of pain but the good pain. I can definitely see how people are so fit when it comes to yoga despite the idea that people just think it’s breathing. (IT IS SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT!) After the hour class, I felt on top of the world. Sweaty and all, I had just the best vibes today and I felt so, for lack of better words, centered and at peace. After leaving the studio you just get this big sigh of relief and it’s like breathing gets easier, and I just felt so wonderful. What a great way to start my day, probably one of the best so far.