Beginning to realize how annoying social networking sites are. Not to mention my tolerance for reading…unintentionally (but I still happen to read it ALL THE TIME)… the shit people from my high school say. OH.MY.GOD.
It’s really hard for me to put into words the feeling I have for missing people so much. I feel like I’ve let so many good friends walk right out of my life, needing them so much but not really realizing it. What sucks is that the people that I try to have back in my life — not because I need them as a “fairweather” friend, but because there was such a great friendship that CLEARLY I was just so absent minded and ungrateful to notice —seriously have always rejected it and fuck it just sucks…I mean it’s not like I’m saying that I don’t deserve that sense of rejection and the fact that their over that whole moment. Honestly I know how pathetic it sounds that I care so much about people that I can’t even talk to but …damn. This is probably my worst trait. It just takes forever for me to get over wonderful, beautiful, amazing friends that I had because god, it was all my fault and I can’t help but want to cry so bad with this horrible,ugly face because my face can’t handle the emotions…I mean does that even make sense?
Honestly all summer long I just want to have like girls nights out all the time and watch movies and have a job but I can’t do that because I can’t even sit still for one second because I’m so busy with this debut practice and running errands and I’m just so busy with being busy and it’s not even enjoyable. I’ve been looking forward to going to beautiful and lovely places during my summer, but it’s not even going to happen because I’m legit on a leash by the rents and it’s the most horrible thing in the world. I’m 18 not fucking 6.