I have been talking about how I am so mentally exhausted and blah blah blah, but I can’t even take it anymore, I have NO WILL POWER to move on with school and I just want to, not necessarily give up, but fast forward to the part in my life where I am stable in all aspects. During school I’ll be in my classes, looking attentive but it’s like I’m not learning anything and I’m just a blob of tired-ness. I wake up at 5:55 every morning but I don’t even know what I’m doing, I’m just doing it. I’ll go to school and come home and I don’t even remember what happened and I’m so lost right now. People will talk to me and I don’t even care, even my friends, but it’s not that I don’t care, because normally I would, but just now I don’t know, just everything passing me by. I’m so annoyed and frustrated, life is just going to fast and everyone is going somewhere but I’m going nowhere because everyday I feel like I do the same thing. 

I don’t even know what I need. I feel really depressed but because that’s not who I am, I’ll cover it up when I’m in school or with people so I have no one to talk about this with, and even if I could it’s not like I could just discuss how I feel without sounding pathetic. Everything I’m doing, it’s just really familiar to me, and I have no expectations for nothing and I don’t care about anything right now, but I pretend to, and I’m just pretending a lot, which is the frustrating part. Since the year started I had all these plans but none of it is going anywhere, and I’m just losing my motivation to do anything. I’m getting depressed and fat and just really miserable.